In the moment
by gambits-gal
Summary: We all lose people we love, whether through forces of nature, accident or other ways. But there comes a time when you learn to let go. Its a way of life. Implications of 1x2x1, and 3x4x3, not a happy ficcy. Slightly morbid. Co-Written with MysticHeero.


**Title:** In this moment.

**Authors:** MysticHeero and GabitsGal

**Summary:** We all lose people we love, whether through forces of nature, accident or other ways. But there comes a time when you learn to let go.

**Warnings:** A strange, slightly morbid, farewell.

**Notes: **A sad little ficcy we both said we would never write but we guess we did in the end, and a joint one at that. GambitsGal was watching a load of weird things and MysticHeero had just finished watching Chocolat. The latter was what inspired this mainly.

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He sat on the roof edge, feet hanging over the side. A single figure alone. From this vantage point he could see the majority of the city; hear the hustle of the traffic below him. It had always been a place where he had been able to think clearly as he could see the peace the Wars had given way to, and he could also see what Duo loved so much about the Earth.

The others would probably be in a small panic about now, wondering where he had gone. They had been watching him closely ever since the accident, never truly leaving him alone, except for at night. They worried about him and what he might do if left alone too long, and though it was slightly annoying at times, Heero felt touched by his friends' concern. If anything he was also relieved for the attention, as it pointed out just how stupid a person could be in his current situation, and it allowed him to keep a sense of reality. But it didn't mean he had never considered the stupid options, just that he had pushed them away and rejected them. After all Duo hated that sort of thing, and so it wouldn't be right, even under extreme circumstances.

When he had first been told the news, news of the accident, he had been lost; his mind had simply gone blank and he had felt like a dead weight. Apparently he had scared Quatre half to death; that was what Trowa had told him, and he understood that Trowa knew the blonde better than anyone. It was the same way between himself and Duo, both knowing the other much deeper than they had allowed another person to. Heero had to smile at that, seeing the irony of their first meeting just over three years ago and how Duo had been ready to kill him. Back then Heero hadn't trusted anyone, but Duo had quickly worked his way through his defences and gained not only Heero's trust, which in its self was no easy feat normally, but also his respect and friendship, giving Heero a more "down to Earth" way of thinking - quite literally at that. In the days since he had been given the news from WuFei, Heero had been quieter than usual, eating less and generally spacing out a fair bit, but merely because he found his mind wandering too much to concentrate on anything, as apposed to refusing to eat, talk or do anything. It was hard to concentrate when you've just lost someone dear to you, as Heero certainly had.

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It was Trowa who had stepped out onto the roof first, and his reaction had been enough to confirm that they had found the man they were searching for. Found him safe as well. Then when Quatre had gained view of their friend his face had immediately shown his relief, but when the blonde had made to approach he had found Trowa stopping him. A silent communication between all three of them had spoken volumes, and WuFei finally moved to where he could see Heero, or rather the back of his seated form. He understood why Trowa had held his lover back: Heero hadn't seemed to have acknowledged their presence, but instead appeared to be lost in his own thoughts again. He had been doing that a lot lately, simply letting his mind wander without really paying attention to anything. The Chinese man had caught him self doing this once or twice, in recent days and so he realised that Heero wasn't thinking depressing things, or about doing anything rash, he was merely reminiscing over the past.

When Heero had turned his head slightly in their direction it signalled that he had snapped out of his daze, and noticed them watching him, even if he hadn't turned to see them. Trowa was the one to speak, in a soft voice that would definitely carry over to Heero's sensitive hearing, though his statement wasn't commanding – merely stating the truth.

"Time to come back inside." Heero had simply turned back out to the view. To any who didn't know him like the ex-pilots did, they would assume he was deliberately ignoring them, but to his friends they knew it was like a nod of the head – a silent answer. They couldn't see exactly what he was doing, they were both too far away and Heero's body was blocking the view, but they knew it was important. Following the road accident Heero had rarely done anything, unless it was important, or one of his friends insisted, though he didn't put up any fuss. They had feared that Heero would blame WuFei, as he had been driving, but the quiet pilot had told the raven haired man that it was not to be helped; which surprised them all to say the least.

The accident itself had shocked them all, but merely because it had shattered an unconscious illusion of being practically untouchable by death. It had been just past the middle of the day, WuFei had been driving with his partner back to the Preventer office after seeing to a domestic disturbance when a car had swerved in front of them as. The driver had been more than slightly intoxicated with alcohol and drugs both, but WuFei was a good driver and had managed to safely react to the situation. The two drivers who the speeding man had passed next however, had not and their cars had not only skidded out of control, but into each other. This time WuFei had been unable to react as his car had ploughed straight into them. The accident involved four cars and seven people in total, but the reckless driver had not been in this. Out of the seven people involved three had died and the other four had sustained injuries of varying degrees; WuFei had been in hospital for two days following before he had been released into Sally's care on home rest, but his injuries had been minor. His partner had not been so lucky to survive with a few injuries, but had been killed instantly upon impact. The reckless driver had been caught only a matter of ten minutes later, by none other than Heero and when he had been told both of the accident and that he had caught the man responsible, he had again acted much to the surprise of the others. He hadn't gone to beat the crap out of the guy or anything so violent, he had simply walked away to think. A court date had been set for the driver, and Heero had been asked to testify but he had refused saying that he was not in the right state of mind to speak without prejudice; his statement from that day had sufficed instead.

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Hearing Trowa's words, speaking the plain and simple truth, Heero had turned his head to face forward again, but down into his lap at the same time. The small wooden box he held was nothing overly notable, but it was definitely important to him. Last night he had made the decision, after seeing the intense worry all his friends held for him, and realising that nothing was going to change what had happened, but it wasn't until this morning that he had thought of the roof.

With a smile, one of his rare, genuine ones, Heero removed the box lid and up righted it over the building's edge. The cloud of ashes quickly took off with the breeze and was soon dispersed so thinly it could not be seen, as it wound its way through the air freely.

"Good bye Duo. We'll meet again some day." He whispered softly in Japanese, before standing up and turning away from the view. He walked over to the roof exit, passed his friends without a word, for none was needed, and he headed back to his life.

After all, he thought, we can only live our lives in this moment. Its easier to cope that way.

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Please review

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